Never Let Go
by SNAPxCRAKLExPOP
Summary: voldemort is defeated but at a terrible price- as hermione deals with her loss she discovers that she has to re-live it all: along side her worst enemy PLEASE RR!
1. The End

Never Let Go  
  
Hermione looked around the room at the rubble surrounding her. She was in denial that the final battle was over and voldemort was finally gone. After all the years of fearing him, even after she had graduated from Hogwarts three years ago, she could not believe that it had all ended in mere minutes. She looked around the circular room and surveyed the damage.  
  
What she saw filled her heart with sadness. In one corner she saw Ron, obviously no longer breathing, draped over his sister's body. She too, did not appear to be alive. In another corner, she saw Draco Malfoy, the newest member of the order, and Dean Thomas, lying next to a pile of dead Death eaters. They had fought bravely and had saved many lives. In the next corner, she saw Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil slumped against a wall, covered in blood. Best friends together till the end. "Did anyone survive besides me?" Hermione thought, now starting to tear up.  
  
But when she looked at the corner on her right, she nearly fainted. Lying on the ground, not breathing, next to Voldemort, who also looked dead, was her boyfriend of 4 years and fiancée of 4 days, Harry Potter. "NO!!!" Hermione cried. She rushed over to him and took his limp, lifeless body into her arms. She sat there rocking him back and forth, crying. She could not, would not, believe that he was..no, even thinking the word was too painful. She looked down at his pale, handsome, blood covered face, and kissed him gently on his lips. They were cold as ice. She held him tighter and began crying into his jet-black hair.  
  
She didn't know how long she sat there on the floor, when people began coming into the room. Aurors and members of the Order were going around checking to see if anyone was alive. When they got to Hermione they tried to take Harry away from her she pulled him away. "NO!" she snapped at the person who tried to loosen her grip on. She looked up into the sad eyes Remus Lupin.  
  
"Hermione, he's gone," he said in a comforting voice.  
  
"No," she tried to say but it came out as a squeak. "No."  
  
"I'll give you a few more minutes, Hermione, but eventually you're going to have to let go." She looked up at him and nodded. After he had walked she lent down and whispered in Harry's ear, "No, I'll never let go." Then she leaned down and kissed his forehead.  
  
She sat there a while longer sobbing. He couldn't be dead, he just couldn't. After all they had been through and all that they were planning on for their futures. Just then, she heard some commotion over in another corner. She heard several gasps and heard someone say, "Merlin, he's alive. Go get a healer". She looked over and saw some people gathered around where Draco and Dean had been. Hoping it was Dean, she lifted her head up. But when she saw Lupin hoist the blonde onto his shoulders to move him, she bent her head back down and began crying again. Though he had said he was a on their side now, she would never forgive Draco for all of those years he had made her miserable, for and all those nasty names he had called her. She stroked Harry's hair and reached down to hold his hand.  
  
"Hermione, you have to let him go," came the kind, soft voice of Remus Lupin. "I know it's hard, but he's gone."  
  
She looked and saw that he too had tears in his eyes. She nodded at him and bent her head down to give Harry one last kiss, as she handed over his limp body to Lupin. 


	2. The Aftermath

A/N: Please please please please review!!  
  
Disclaimer: the only thing that is mine is the plot.  
  
Chapter 2: The Aftermath  
  
The day after the final battle, Hermione sat in her apartment. She hadn't gotten any sleep last night. She had cried all night long for the people who had died. She had cried for Ron, Ginny, Lavender, Parvati, Dean, Seamus, Tonks, Moody, and even Professor Snape. But most of all, she had cried for Harry. She felt his absence all around her. He had recently moved in with her and every time she walked into the bathroom and saw his toothbrush or his hairbrush, she broke down crying. When she went into his bedroom she saw his dress robes laid out on the bed, all ready for the date they were supposed to have had last night, before they were unexpectedly sent to the battle, not knowing that he would never again wear them.  
  
Later in the day, she was visited by fellow members of the Order of the Phoenix who came and cried with her. She sat down with Lupin for a while and talked. As he sat down on the couch next to her, she noticed the tired, worn look in his eyes, and the gray streaked throughout his hair.  
  
"I'm sorry it ended this way Hermione," he said sadly. "If I could have, I would have gladly taken Harry's place." At the mention of her fiancée, she began to cry harder. She nodded. "I know that you and Draco weren't the best of friends (Hermione snorted at this.) but I just want you to know that he is in St.Mungo's and is doing fine and should be out today. Hermione nodded again. Why couldn't it be Harry who was recovering in the hospital? She thought, why did Harry have to be the one to die? If anyone deserved to live it was him. After all he had been through in his life.  
  
"We have decided to hold the funeral for those who died in four days. I know it may be hard, but we wanted you and Draco to write a sort of memoir for the people who died. You knew most of them best. Just think about it." Hemione nodded again. She didn't trust herself to speak. She knew that she would start bawling if she opened her mouth. "Well, I guess I better go," Lupin said getting up. As Hermione stood up too, he reached over and gave her a hug. "I really am sorry Hermione." He whispered in her ear. She couldn't take it anymore. She sobbed into Lupin's shoulder.  
  
"Why Harry?" She cried. "Why did he have to die?"  
"Ssh Hermione it's going to be okay." He sat back down on the couch with Hermione sobbing into his shoulder. She ended up crying herself to sleep.  
  
When Hermione awoke, it was the next morning. Lupin must have brought me to bed, she though. Then she thought about what he had said about everything going to be okay. How could it be okay, she though angrily, Harry is dead. The one that she had loved since she was 13 years old and who had finally noticed her in their 7th year was dead.  
  
**FLASHBACK**  
  
Hermione was sitting in the library, her normal after dinner hangout, when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned around startled and was relieved to see just Harry sitting there smiling at her.  
"oh, Harry, it's just you."  
"Sorry if I scared you," he chuckled. "I need to talk to you and I figured you'd be here."  
"Is something wrong? Harry what...?"  
"Nothing is wrong Hermione, calm down." He sat down next to her. Wow, she thought, he sure has grown. He's so cute. She looked straight into is startling green eyes. "Hermione," he began, "I know you have a crush on me." She looked down at her feet and felt her face getting hot. He put his finger under her chin and lifted her head up. She felt giddy at his touch.  
"Who told you?" she asked sheepishly.  
"Ginny." He smiled. Hermione made a mental note to strangle Ginny, next time she saw her. "But I'm glad she did. I would have never gotten the nerve to ask you out if I hadn't known that you'd say yes." She looked at him questioningly. "Hermione, I feel the same way." I have since third year. I just never said anything because I thought you liked Ron." She gave him a look of disgust and he smiled. "I know beter now. Hermione Granger, I think I love you." As he said this he was slowly leaning in closer and loser to Hermione's face. As their lips met, Hermione felt a chill down her spine.  
"I love you too, Harry."  
  
** END OF FLASHBACK**  
  
A/N: okay , okay, I know that was a little corny, but I couldn't think of anything else. PLEASE R/R!!!! Hannah 


	3. More Pain

Chapter 3: More Pain  
  
As Hermione sat in her apartment, she began thinking about the proposition that Lupin had made her. Could she stand writing about all the loved ones that she had lost? And with Malfoy? Just then she heard a tapping on her window and there sat a large eagle owl. She went over to the window and let the owl in and took the letter off of the owl's leg and began to read.  
  
Dear Hermione, I know you probably still hate me and I don't blame you but Lupin asked me about writing the thing for the funeral with you. I think it would be nice if we did it. For them. Give my owl your reply.  
-Draco Malfoy  
  
Hermione quickly grabbed a piece of parchment and scribbled down her answer.  
  
Malfoy, Sure I'll write it with you. Come over to my apartment tonight and we'll get started. -Hermione  
  
She tied it to the owl's leg and it flew off out the window. 'I can't believe I just did that. Now I've got to write something about the people that I can't even think about without crying. And I've got to spend the whole night with Draco Malfoy! Oh, what have I done. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
That night, Hermione sat on her couch waiting for Draco to arrive. She had actually gotten dressed. Just then she heard a POP! And a knock on her door. He had just apparated. She got up and opened the door. "Hi." She said quietly. "Hi." He said back.  
  
She looked up at his face. He was so pale. Paler than usual. They went over to the couch and sat down. "Well, I guess we better get this thing over with." He said softly. They began writing and talking about each person. Hermione teared up quite a few times. They had gotten through everyone but the one person that she had been dreading writing about: Harry. As they began talking and writing about him she started crying harder and harder until she was shaking with sobs. "Oh, Hermione." Draco said as he pulled her into a tight hug. Hermione felt awkward at first but soon began to feel comfortable in his strong arms as he was rocking her back and forth as she cried. "Sssh, it'll be okay." Why does everyone keep saying that, she thought. Everything is NOT going to be okay as long as Harry was dead. Very slowly she began to calm down and not cry so hard, though tears still ran down her face.  
  
She heard a sniff and looked up to see that he also had tears running down his face. She was shocked. The hard, cold, emotionless Draco Malfoy was crying? She slowly wrapped her arms around him and hugged him back. They sat there like that for, an hour, maybe two but when Hermione picked her head up, she saw that he had fallen asleep on her shoulder. 'Oh no, she thought, what am I going to do?' She slowly got up and laid him down on the couch. "I guess I'd better finish this thing," she said looking down at the paper.  
  
The next few minutes were probably some of the hardest she'd ever experienced as she took all of her thoughts about Harry and put them down on paper. As she finished, she looked over at Draco. He looks so peaceful, she thought. I'll let him sleep the night over here. She sat down in the recliner next to the couch and watched him sleep and soon her thoughts began to drift to Harry. He was the last thing that she thought about as she fell asleep with tears in her eyes. 


	4. The chapter with no name bc i was 2 lazy...

A/N: Ok this chapter took me forever to write. I had a MAJOR case of writers block and this one is really just a filler in the story that was necessary to the plot but I promise it will get better after this and that I will update sooner than this time.  
  
Chapter 4:  
  
**Draco's P.O.V.  
  
Draco opened his eyes and looked around. He didn't see the things he usually saw when he woke up. Where am I, he thought. Then the previous nights events slowly came back to him. Writing the paper, crying with Hermione. O lord, he thought, I cried in front of Hermione Granger. She probably thinks I'm such a wuss. He then noticed that it was morning and that he must've fallen asleep and that the paper in front of him was completed. He sat up and saw Hermione asleep on the recliner. Wow, she looks so peaceful, he thought. She's so pretty. Whoa, where did that come from? Did I just call her pretty? He mentally slapped himself for thinking something like that. Just then she started to wake up.  
  
**End Draco's P.O.V.  
  
Hermione opened her eyes and saw Draco looking at her. "You need to get up and get ready," he said. "The funeral is in 2 hours." Hermione nodded and slowly got up. "Alright, well, I guess I'd better go and get ready too," he said, also getting up. "I'll see you there I guess." She nodded again and watched him walk out of the door.  
  
She walked into the bathroom and took a shower. Then she went into her room over to the closet and picked out her clothes for the funeral: a knee- length black dress and long, black dress robes. She then carefully put on her make-up and did her hair. She wanted to look good. For Harry. When she was done getting ready she looked at the clock. 11:30. She had 15 minutes until she had to be at the funeral. It started at 12:15 but she had to be there early with Draco to practice the speech. She quickly grabbed a bite to eat and apparated to the site of the funeral where she was met by Draco.  
  
They practiced on what they were going to say for a while until the people started arriving. There were hundreds of people. Everyone wanted to be at the funeral of the famous Harry Potter, the one who had finally defeated Voldemort. They watched as the coffins were carried down the isle to the front of the crowd who were assembled at the cemetery where all of the people who had died from fighting Voldemort were buried. Hermione watched as Ginny, Ron, Lavender, Seamus, and everyone else she loved was carried in in coffins. Harry's was last. It was almost to much for her. How am I ever going to survive talking to them if I can't even watch the coffins being carried in? She thought miserably.  
  
When it was time for her to talk, she and Draco walked up to the front of the crowd where the coffins were lined up. She looked down at the paper she was reading from, then at Draco, and began speaking. She and Draco each read a little bit about each person. She got through everyone pretty well, only tears, no sobbing. But when she got to Harry and began reading, she felt her knees get weak and she began to sob. Before she fell Draco caught her and she leaned on him as he finished reading. He led her back to her seat and they sat down. A few more people spoke and she cried into Draco's shoulder. When everyone was done speaking, the coffins began to be moved to the burial sites. Harry was to be buried next to his parents. She watched as he was lowered into the ground and buried. Never to be seen again. It was too much for her. She began to walk away and heard someone come up behind her. Then she heard Draco say, "Do you want a ride home?" She turned around and nodded, grateful for his help.  
  
They walked until they came to little black sports car. Draco opened up the side of the car for Hermione to get in. It surprised her that he had a car but she was too heartbroken to say anything. She watched out the window as the trees and the road passed by. There wasn't one word spoken between the two of them the whole way to her apartment. As they pulled up to her apartment she got out and said a quick," Thanks for the lift," and walked into her apartment.  
  
**REVIEW PLEASE!!!** 


	5. cant take it anymore

Authors note: Ok I think this chapter really sucks and I have no clue where I'm gonna go after this so please give me ideas and review and stuff if u have any ideas. Thanks! Hannah  
  
Hermione walked into her apartment and sat on the couch with tears running down her face. She felt as though she would never be happy again. Is this how it's going to be for the rest of my life? With this feeling that I can't go on? I can't like live like this anymore I can't take it. She walked into her kitchen and took a knife out of a drawer then went to sit back down in the living room. She put the knife down on the coffee table and thought if she really wanted to do this. There's no reason to live anymore. Everyone I love is gone. There's no way I will ever be able to put my life back together again after this. So she picked up the knife.  
  
Draco's P.O.V.  
  
He pulled out of the parking lot and headed toward his house. He was about a mile away when he looked over at the passenger seat and saw Hermione's coat on the seat so he turned around and headed back to her apartment.  
  
He walked up to the second floor where Hermione's apartment was and knocked on the door. He sat there for a few minutes and when she didn't come to the door he tried to open it. It was unlocked so he opened the door and saw Hermione lying on the floor with a puddle of blood surrounding her. He rushed to her side and saw that she was still alive. He was the last thing she saw before she lost consciousness.  
  
Hermione's P.O.V.  
  
Hermione opened her eyes to a room that was not her own. She looked around and saw a young woman sitting in a chair next to the bed that she was in. "Ms. Granger, you're awake finally. I'll be right back with the healer." Healer? She thought. What happened? She tried to remember. Then it all came back to her. The funeral, the knife, the pain. She also remembered a blonde headed someone looking into her eyes, then it all went blank. She looked down at her wrists and saw that her arms were bandaged all the way up to the elbows.  
  
The next few hours were a blur of healers and tests. She was lying in her bed reading a book when the door opened and Lupin walked in. He rushed over to her and the first thing he said was, "Hermione Granger how could you!?!? You had me scared to death!" Hermione could tell he was trying to act mad but she could tell by the look in his eyes that he was extremely relieved. "I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you too," he said. She reached up and pulled him into a hug  
  
They talked for a while. "we really didn't think that you would make it." He said. "you lost so much blood. It's a good thing Draco found you when he did or you probably wouldn't have...." Just then Hermione cut him off. "Draco found me? As in Draco Malfoy?"  
  
"Yes, Draco Malfoy." Lupin replied. "he said he went to return something of yours and when and when you didn't answer your door he walked in and found you on the floor so he took you immediately here to St. Mungos. He's been here every day to see you since he brought you in last week."  
  
Lupin kept talking but Hermione wasn't listening. So he's the reason I'm still here, she thought. I hate him. I hate him so much. Why couldn't he just mind his own business? Why did he have to find me? I don't want to be here, alive, when everyone else isn't. What did I do to deserve to be alive? She heard the door open and looked up and saw the man she hated most walk into the room. 


End file.
